Our First Hello
by Brittanyismyunicorn
Summary: On your 18th birthday most people might want a car or money or some kind of material item but the best gift I could ever ask for was a letter.


**A/N So this is just something I came up with. Santana and Rachel had a daughter and this is a letter from Santana to her daughter. I hope its okay because I have my doubts.**

Today I wake up to the smell of French toast. The same smell I've waken up to every year for the past eight years. Every year since I was 10, mom cooks me French toast for breakfast on my birthday because I love it, but only the way she makes it. I sit up, yawn and stretch then I hear a knock on my door.

" Come in." I say and my mom, Quinn and my little brother walk in.

"Happy birthday!" They all shout and I laugh.

" Thank you." I say then they all jump on me and attack me with hugs.

" Guys, enough with the lovey dovey stuff." I say

" Oh be quiet, you know you love it." Quinn says and I glare at her.

"Whatever." I say and she shakes her head.

" I made your special breakfast." Mom says

"Let me guess...French toast right?"

" You got it." she says and I roll my eyes playfully.

" So how's it feel to be so old?"

" Mom your acting like I turned 81 and not 18."

" I know but you're an adult now. So how's it feel?"

" It feels like any other day."

" So what's planned for today?" Quinn asks

"Not much. Probably hang with Selena and Melissa and Ian said he wanted to do something tonight."

" Do something like what?" Quinn says

" Relax, he probably just meant dinner."

" He better." She says and I roll my eyes.

Selena and Melissa have been my best friends since birth basically since we met in preschool. Ian is my boyfriend. Quinn says he's an idiot and mom says he'll just hold me back. I don't care, he's just something to do when I'm bored. Mom started dating Quinn when I was six and she got remarried to her when I was ten. And they had my little brother. I like Quinn, she's a cool step mom.

"Alright. Wheres my presents?" Mom rolls her eyes.

" You'll get your presents after you shower and eat a balanced meal." Mom says.

" Yeah Rach is right. Get dressed. I'm going to the junk yard to get your gift." Quinn says smirking

" Oh haha, now get out." I say and Quinn chuckles and gets off my bed.

" Come on drew, lets go eat." she says and my little brother leaves with her.

" I can't believe you're 18."

"Mom its not a big deal."

" It is...you're all grown up. You're leaving for college..." Aw hell she's tearing up.

" Mom don't start crying."She wipes a tear from her eye and smiles.

" I'm sorry its just...time goes by so quickly." I shake my head.

" I have something for you." She says and hands me an envelope. Did she have that the whole time?

" Is it money?" I say quickly taking it from her.

" No. Its better." I look at the envelope and it has my name on the front but I don't recognize the handwriting.

" Is it plane tickets to Spain? Because that would be really awesome." I say and she rolls her eyes

" Will you just open it?" I quickly open it and it isn't money or plane tickets its

" A letter?" I say confused.

" Read it. I'll be downstairs." She says then gets up and leaves. I pull the letter out and it smells like cinnamon. I begin to read:

"Dear Adriana,

Hey baby-girl, happy birthday. If You're reading this that means I'm not there to celebrate with you but I know you've grown into beautiful, smart and independent woman, especially with Rachel raising you. I'm sorry I can't be there physically but that's okay. I know Rachel did a great job raising you. I wonder who you're more like. Me or her? If you're like me then tell your mother I'm sorry she had to deal with that by herself and if your like her...tell her I'm sorry for that too.

I love your mother but she wasn't always the easiest to deal with. Did she ever tell you how we got together? If she did she probably sugar coated it. We met in high school and I couldn't stand her. She was loud, bossy and selfish. I was a total bitch to her. I insulted her, had people throw slushies at her and even gave her boyfriend mono. I'm horrible, I know. We didn't actually become friends until senior year. We got close pretty quickly and I realized I had feelings for her. She swears I subconsciously liked her and that's why I tormented her but no I really didn't like her.

But anyway when I realized I liked her I wanted to tell her but we were both in a relationship. I ended things with my girlfriend but she was still with the idiot. Please do me a favor and don't date a quarterback. Anyways fast forward, we graduated and she was going to NYADA. I ended up following her to New York and going to Colombia. We didn't see each other that much so every Wednesday we'd go get coffee.

One Wednesday I told her how I felt and that was the day we started dating and since then we were together 4 years before I decided to purpose. It was valentines day and I slipped the ring on her finger while she was sleeping. I was confused as hell the entire day. She didn't say anything so I didn't know if she had even noticed it. So we get ready for bed and she comes out of nowhere and just says yes. I was just plain lost so I asked what the hell she was talking about and she told me she'd married me. One of the best days of my life.

I didn't think my life could get better until we found out she was pregnant with you. We'd been married six months when we got the news about you and I couldn't have been happier but things started to change. First it was just a little back pain. Nothing big but that moved on to chest pain but I ignored it. Some shortness of breath when I exercised and then a cough. Rachel basically dragged me to the doctor and that's when I got the news. Adenocarcinoma. That's just the term for the lung cancer I have. Guess those cigars did more than make my voice raspy.

Its stage four which means its traveling to other parts of my body. They said chemo would help slow it but it couldn't be stopped. That shit was fucking horrible but I stayed on it until Rachel was 8 months pregnant with you. I knew if I would have kept going I could have had more time with you but if you could remember me I didn't want you to remember me that way.

I know you don't remember but we did meet. Rachel's water broke in the middle of one of our conversations. I got to be in the delivery room and held Rachel's hand. That was our deal. I told her when it hurt like hell she could crush my hand, she told me she'd just break my fingers one by one so I could feel her pain. So I sat next to her in a chair and she holds my hand but she never squeezes once.

The first time I held you I cried. You were just perfect. You have my completion and her eyes. I've done so much wrong in my life that I cant believe that I have Rachel and now you. I don't deserve either of you. I've hurt so many people and fucked up so much I couldn't believe your mother loved me. You are the only thing I ever did right.

I'm so sorry I wont be able to be there when you take your first steps. To be there to comfort you when you have a bad dream, teach you how to ride a bike or walk you down the aisle. But I'm glad I'll live on through you. Right now Rachel is sleeping and you're sleeping in her arms. I've realized that I only have a few moments left so sadly I have to end this letter because I want to spend those moments with you. So I just wanted you to know that I love you. I loved you way before you were even here and I'll love you long after I'm gone and the same goes for your mother.

I'll be watching over you and I'll always be here even if you don't know it. I love you and happy birthday baby.

Love your mother, Santana.

P.S. If your mother moved on to Finn kick his ass for me. Thanks. I love you forever and always."

Wow. Mom never told me about this. She really didn't tell me too much about my mom. I could tell it was really hard for her to talk about her. I don't think I've asked about her since I was 8 maybe. I only really know what I know from my abuela and abuelo. I knew she died after I was born. Abuela told me I was the last thing she saw before she closed her eyes forever.

I wipe my eyes because they started to mist over while I read this. I put the letter back in the envelope and sit it by my jewelry box. It was hers. My grandmother gave it to me when I was ten. She told me it had been past down three generations and I was the fourth. Its really fucking old and you can tell. I go take a shower and head downstairs. I walk into the kitchen and see mom at the table.

" Are you okay sweetie?" she asks as I sit next to her sighing

" No..."

" Aw sweetie. I probably shouldn't have given it to you so early. I'm sorry." she says while rubbing my back.

" No its fine mom. I but...I just wish she was here you know?"

"Yes. I wish she were here too."

" Do you still miss her?"

" Everyday." she says smiling sadly and I sit silently.

" Why didn't you tell me she left me something?"

" Because I know you would have wanted it then and she didn't want you to have it yet. She left you something else. She got it for you after we figured out your name and she wanted you to have it today." She says and then gets up and goes to her room.

When she comes back she hands me a small but long box. I take it and open it. Its a white gold necklace with my name on it.

"She didn't you to lose it so she told me to give it to you after I gave you the letter." I run my fingers over the letters of it and then pull it out of the box.

"Will you put it on me?" I ask and mom takes it from me and puts it on for me. I gently touch it as the cool metal touches my skin and I softly smile.

" It's beautiful." she says as she looks at it and smiles at it and smiles at me. She kisses my forehead and sits back down.

" Mom?"

" Yes?"

" How come you never took her ring off?" I ask. Since mom got remarried to Quinn the ring isn't on her finger, but on a chain around her neck. She touches the chain and drags her fingers down to the ring smiling softly.

" I cant. Its all I have left of her..."

" Oh...Quinn doesn't get mad about that?"

" No. She understands and knows how much your mother meant to me."

" Oh. Well I gotta go do something so I'll be back soon."

" Wait, don't you want to eat your breakfast?"

" I will when I get back." I say then stand and walk out the door. I get in my car with only one destination in mind well maybe two .

Once I get to my second destination I park and start to walk. It seems like I've been walking forever. Its been so long since I've been here I forgot where it was but finally I'm there. I'm standing in front of a head stone that says "Santana Lopez. Daughter. Wife and mother." I sigh and gently run my fingers over the letters of her name and the word mother.

I crouch down and sit on the ground with my knees up near my head, laying the bouquet of roses against the head stone.

" I...I know its been a while and...sorry. Its my birthday so I got your letter and your necklace. Its beautiful and I love it so thank you. I wish I could have spent more time with you. I wish you were here today and would be here for my graduation. I always wondered what kind of parent you would be. Based on what I heard I thought you wouldn't be the most nurturing but mom told me how you were when she was pregnant. How you always talked to me and mom told me when I started kicking a lot your touch always calmed me. She told me you sang to me and the happiest she'd ever seen you was the day I was born." I pause to wipe my eyes and gather my emotions. I didn't think this would be so hard.

" I think about you everyday. Everyone says I'm just like you with the attitude and temper. I know if you could, you would be here with me celebrating but its okay that you aren't. I know you're watching over me and mom and love us. We love you too. I guess I'll update you on what's been going on.

Quinn and mom are together. They had another kid, Andrew, my brother. I'm going to Colombia next year to study medicine. Mom was kinda upset I was never into Broadway. I followed in your steps a little because I was a cheerleader for a year but it wasn't really for me and I played basketball instead.

I have a boyfriend but I think I'll dump him today. I think I'm kinda in love with my best friend Selena and I've got a serious feeling she feels the same. Especially with the way she gets jealous when I'm with my boyfriend. She's so obvious... I think that's all really...I really appreciate that letter. I finally got to talk to you. I know you're always with me and I'll do everything I can to make you proud of me. I love you. Goodbye." I stand and place the single rose in my hand against her head stone. I fix my clothes and wipe off any dirt.

As I turn away the wind blows and I smell cinnamon again. Oddly the wind isn't cool but...warm. I feel it wrap around my body for a few seconds before the warmth and smell are gone. I turn to get one last look and walk back to my car with a smile on my face. At first I didn't really know how to feel about the letter but now...now I know. That was the best birthday present I could ever ask for.


End file.
